Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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