Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
