Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
