i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
