The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
