after a month anything with tits is on the radar
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
