she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
