i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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