I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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