its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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