are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
