What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
