I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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