I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
