as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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