So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
