***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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