I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize