I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
