I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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