Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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