just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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