no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
