id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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