We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
