are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
