so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I could fuck to npr.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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