Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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