Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
