Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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