Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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