The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
