and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
