Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
