1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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