dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
