A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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