Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
