A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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