Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
