At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize