google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
