i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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