How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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