Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize