Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize