i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
