Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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