Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
