you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My feet surprised me
Randomize
