i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Liz is crying about burritos again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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