I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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