i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
