Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just pee around me
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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