If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
