is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
