I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
