So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
